The Wedding Ring Tan Lines That Tell Stories

Posted by Julia | 4 min read

You notice things in this job that regular people don't pay attention to. Like wedding ring tan lines.

So many of my clients have them. Pale band of skin on their ring finger where their wedding band usually sits.

Most married clients take their rings off before appointments. But the tan line gives them away every time.

I don't judge. Marriage is complicated and I don't know anyone's situation at home. But the tan lines always make me a little sad.

Some clients are obvious about being married. They mention their wife, talk about family problems, or explain why they're seeking services outside their marriage.

Others try to hide it. Remove the ring, don't mention family, pretend to be single. But their finger tells the real story.

The fresh tan lines are the saddest. Guys who just took their ring off for the first time, maybe still deciding if they want to go through with the appointment.

You can see them looking at their finger during our time together. Unconsciously touching where the ring should be.

Then there are the old tan lines. Guys who've been taking their ring off for appointments for months or years. The tan has faded but you can still see the outline.

Those clients seem more comfortable with their decision. Less conflicted about being there looking for fun.

Sometimes I wonder about their wives at home. Do they know? Suspect? Would they care?

Some married clients tell me their wives have health problems that make intimacy impossible. Others say their marriages are essentially over but they stay for kids or financial reasons.

A few admit they just want variety or excitement that they can't get at home.

I try not to think too much about the family situations behind those tan lines. It's not my job to judge or counsel anyone about their marriage choices.

But you can't help noticing the stories written on people's bodies.

The tan lines remind me that everyone has complicated lives outside of our appointments. Relationships, responsibilities, problems I know nothing about.

Most clients compartmentalize well. They're present and engaged during our time together regardless of what's happening at home.

But those pale finger bands are always there, telling silent stories about the lives they return to after our appointments end.